So last night was our second show of this mini tour in
Providence, R.I. It rained all day so we sat in the car until almost door time.
For some reason the day had a weird vibe to start off but we were determined
not to make it a typical second day show. Let me explain: Usually we do our
tours in shows of 3 before making a trip back home to shower and repack and
such. The first show is always great and the third show is always great but for
some reason something always goes wrong with the second show. Either someone is
pissed or there are technical difficulties. Something. We really didn’t want
that again and we tried really really hard not to make it bad, but we truly
think the second show has to be cursed.
For this blog J and I are each going to give our perspective
on the show separately without reading the other person’s thoughts. This is
because we are ultimately confused about this entire situation in general
beyond any confusion we have had in the past.
Amanda’s Perspective:
I knew deep down inside from the very beginning of the day
that no matter how hard we tried to break the second show curse that it wasn’t
going to be any different. The line was annoying, the venue was set up weird
and they were unprepared, and no one was there. It just kind of had an overall
weird vibe. The local opening band was okay. 10 Years was great as usual but
there was something about their set that I just couldn’t get into. Then SP came
on. I tried to rock out but there wasn’t much contact between me and the band
and I don’t really get the new music. It just made it hard for me to even try.
We had a few small contacts with Shim which was okay, but we had just wanted
more. I know that sounds so snotty of us, but certain things just happen at
every show that did not happen at this show. We ended up basically standing
still the whole show depressed. We couldn’t help it. On our way out we made a
last ditch effort to be positive and decided to go through the merch line.
That’s when everything changed and this whole thing got confusing and weird.
They talked to us forever, asked us why we never do anything, laughed and joked
around. It was crazy. It made me so excited and rejuvenated because it was like
old times. They noticed things during the show that we would never imagine they
would notice. It made us feel special.
When we left the show we couldn’t even talk about it because
it was so confusing. I honestly don’t know why we keep doing this to ourselves.
It’s like a never ending cycle of ups and downs. The ups are so high though but
the downs are so low. There is never a happy medium. We can’t just purely enjoy
the show anymore and I hate that. We honestly aren’t there to have fun. It’s
all strategy and planning and if things aren’t just completely perfect and we
don’t get the attention we want then the show is a bust. But then everything
works out and we get attention and it’s like “OMG!!! Let’s do it again!!!” and
then we completely disappoint ourselves. But it’s become this way because of us,
not them. They have no idea about the attention we crave. But why would we tell
them when that sounds crazy and selfish? I don’t know why we keep doing it or
how long I want to keep doing it. Part of me is completely depressed that we
aren’t going to the show tomorrow, but the other part of me is ready to just
leave it behind. It’s too hard to leave behind something we have become so
familiar with. Its seriously like going to SP shows is the only thing we know.
And even though we aren’t best friends with the band it’s like we know them and
there is a weird relationship going on between us and them. I don’t know where the right place for this to
end is.
Jennifer’s Perspective:
Honestly, I don’t know how I
feel. I’m thoroughly confused. And the more I think about all of this, the
worse it gets. Thinking through it just ends up giving me more thoughts than I
started with. Yesterday in Providence, the day started weird. I could feel it
in the air…and even now I can’t really pinpoint what was weird about it all.
The vibe was just off. A & I could tell by the way the venue was set up and
the way the crowd was acting that the show was not going to be as good as the
show in Poughkeepsie. There were way less people, at least that’s how it felt.
Not to mention, we hadn’t seen anyone in the band/crew all day which we
normally look forward to. The show started with a weird dance/rock local band
that seemed to have a lot of friends at the show. By the time 10 years started
their set, the feeling was off. The band was still having fun onstage but the
crowd just was not reacting the way the crowd in Poughkeepsie had. It seemed
like Jesse (the lead singer) was almost amused with this because he kept making
jokes about the crowd. By the time SP started, the place was beyond weird. They
came out to Die to Save You and the energy level was just not there for us.
There was a little interaction with us but not enough for us to be happy (that
is fucking ridiculous to say, I know). Until halfway through the show, none of
this changed. The band was crowd-pleasing but the show didn’t feel like it had
in Poughkeepsie been two nights before. During Connect, A bent down below the
stage to tie her shoe. After this song, we decided to give no fucks and just
try to have as good of a time as we did in Poughkeepsie. It didn’t work. It
felt forced and awkward on our part. So we just let the rest of the show play
out. Overall, I had caught Shim and Emma’s eyes a couple of times but there
didn’t really seem to be any feeling behind it. As the set ended, we called
Johnny’s name to nab the setlist. At least one thing had gone in our favor at
this point…Then we decided (somewhat on a whim) that we would attempt to go through
merch…that is if we could get in to the signing without a special pass. We
waited in the line and got up to Gerry and chatted a little. Then Shim jokingly
asked if I had ever seen SP before and then said “thank you for coming.” Then he
told us we needed to start getting to the shows a day early so that we weren’t
tired during the set. He told us we yawned throughout the set and Mark smiled
and said “come on shim, they’re tired. They want to go home!” Then before we
left the line, Mark tried to say we weren’t into it because he had seen A sit
down during Connect. We told him she was tying her shoe. Everyone laughed at
this as they all realized that she hadn’t just sat down in the middle of their
set out of boredom. As we made our way back to the car after bantering a little
more with them we were both beyond confused. The show had been bleh. Then we
get to the merch line and they recalled every emotion they thought we had
throughout the show like they had seen us the whole time. The chat with them in
merch is exactly what we wanted from them!! Those moments are the ones that
keep us going. I just don’t fucking get it. During the show I had been thinking
how much it sucked that we were back in this place with them where the show was
weird and they didn’t care we were there. Then the merch line happened…..so……..
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